One of my life lessons has been to watch what I say. As a child and even more so now I can be quick to speak depending on the day. After which I'm regretful of the words and the way in which they wielded a moment in time. Something I have tried to be careful about is what words I write, share, and what answers I may have to give after voicing my opinion, an unfinished thought, or maybe a question I have sat with. Have you taken the time lately to sit with some things before ejecting them out into this world? Is that concept foreign because of how technology has given us more access than my grandfather ever had being born in 1900? Are we saying just to say as my dear friend jokingly remarks in our conversations from time to time?
This year has been full of things said and written by many that cause me to cringe. Power can create a monster in the best version of one's self. If not tamed can destroy all lands around it. This is how I feel about politics. Always bowing out of conversations or convincing myself I was just not educated enough on certain things in order to give an answer that sufficed for the hungry conversationalist or great debaters. Honestly, I’ve come to realize that is not the case at all. I am simply just disgusted by the power and what others choose to do with it. How you get into these positions and make choices that are bathed in bigotry, then wake up and do it all again.
I have been turned off by politics because of the ugliness of its power. So I unlock the doors in which I choose, opening up what I will engage in and with. I shut down what fills me with rage. It is that rage that has me boiling when I read all the misinformation people put out there to share with the world because they have access. Never thinking about the repercussions when you don’t fully water your thoughts to hungry eyes just looking for a half-truth to walk to the polls with. Half-truths are easier than the work it takes to read, understand, and form an opinion that doesn’t just serve you but serves all.
I remember the feeling I felt last presidential election. The morning after waking up honestly wondering what type of thought did I, did we, put into this. Though it may be melodramatic to one who is not negatively affected or sees the negative effects of voting I wore black that day. My steps mimicked that of a funeral procession as my mind gripped onto the feeling that we were about to be pushed back into time. I’ll say while I want to be a better-informed voter the truth is I feel like I am picking the better lunch choice in my elementary lunch line. It is not a pizza day, but I am hungry and would like something decent enough before I get home. Truthfully that is what I’m down to. I will continue to vote because I want something decent enough before I make it home.